I’ve learned a few things over the past week. Some of them have come from personal experience, others from reality television shows. In no particular order:
1. If you need plastic surgery, never (a) determine what procedure you need yourself via the internet; (b) go to Mexico to get said surgery done; (c) see your “friend’s cousin” for the procedure; and (d) be excited because it’s only going to cost you $150. Bad things will happen to you.
2. Never let your guard down when reading a book. You might think it’s all fun and games and you can relax, and then suddenly somebody gets tortured. (Outlander = trauma level 10).
3. Fifty Cub Scouts running laps around a campfire holding pointy sticks and impaled marshmallows means that I’ll come close to losing an eye.
4. I wish I had the confidence to knit, standing up, in a public place, during, for example, the abovementioned gathering like the nice lady I met who does it because “it reduces my stress level by 1000%.” That lady=the bomb dot com.
5. Sometimes you just gotta take a nap.
6. Sometimes one nap isn’t enough and you’ve gotta take two naps. In one day. Two hours apart. With a blanket. Both times.
7. There are many people who search the Internet looking for “how to make a good bed” and according to my blog traffic, I’m an expert. Score.
8. Alaska is not for wusses.
9. Neither is New Jersey. Especially if you’re a housewife.
10. A coat of beeswax can make outdoor light fixtures look like new. You’re welcome.