Over the years, I’ve stuck to some pretty strong convictions. I like to think that they have come to define me. Some examples: I consider myself a feminist. It’s important to me to stick to a healthy diet. I stage the occasional boycott. BP, I’m looking at you.
But sometimes something happens that makes me feel like I’m not as hardcore as I think. And it kind of makes me feel guilty. Here is a select list of those times:
1. No matter how hard I try to convince myself otherwise, I think the song “Smack My B*tch Up” by The Prodigy is freaking awesome. Shameful, I know, but it has a good beat. And I am officially an old woman for saying “it has a good beat.”
2. I told my husband the other day that the best class I ever took was a cooking class. With a typing class I took in high school coming in a close second. Yes, Wellesley, my alma mater, would be proud.
3. I stopped eating red meat a few years ago. I always substitute ground turkey in place of ground beef and I’m pretty much used to it. Then I took that cooking class I referred to above and used all kinds of ground whatever to make meatballs. It was AMAZING. I have to admit, ground turkey’s got NOTHING over ground beef.
4. I started boycotting veal when I was a teenager after I learned about how poorly the animals were treated. Hadn’t eaten it in 20 years. Until those meatballs. So. Delicious. I’m starting to sense a pattern here. Curse you, Italian meatballs. That bumper sticker I saw the other day is quite correct: “Sin never comes wrapped as sin.” Yes, it comes wrapped as delicious meatballs.
5. I think Howard Stern is funny. There, I said it. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.