Snap, crackle, freak the heck out

Have you seen the newest Rice Krispies commercial? The one with the mom having the time of her life eating breakfast with her little daughter? If not, I’ll give you 30 seconds to
watch it:

So is this how breakfast goes in your house? Because it’s not how it goes in mine. This commercial is entirely too…relaxed. Nice. Slightly psychotic. This is more how things go for me:

1. My kids are upstairs getting ready for school while I am downstairs in the kitchen making their breakfasts TO THEIR EXACT SPECIFICATIONS, e.g. a fried egg with a runny yolk (because if it’s in any way solid I’ll hear about it), a slice of toast with butter AND cherry jam, a side of cherries, preferably pitted, and a glass of orange-mango juice.

2. I am cooking furiously, trying to get everything ready for them before the bus comes, sweating like a pig.

3. Every 30 seconds I’m screaming, “Hurry up! You’re not going to have time to eat!!” interspersed with, “Did you brush your teeth?!? Make sure you brush your teeth for more than 5 seconds!”

4. In between cooking their breakfasts I’m trying to pack up their lunches, which I have partially prepared the previous night, yet can’t remember which kid is supposed to get which lunch.

5. Me screaming upstairs, “I woke you up 20 minutes ago! Get down here!!”

6. Frantically trying to empty the dishwasher so I have a plate for the abovementioned breakfasts.

7. Me screaming upstairs, “I don’t care if you’re not dressed yet! So help me you will get on that bus in your UNDERWEAR! GET DOWN HERE!”

8. When they finally come down, I see THEY’RE having the time of their lives giggling, fooling around, making fart jokes like it’s their job, and doing everything to avoid eating breakfast.

9. Me standing in the kitchen twitching.

So that’s our morning, Kellogg’s. Bite me.

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