Sex ed and lasagna: It was a busy Monday

Last night I had to go to my kid’s school to learn all about an assembly he’s having next week entitled, “Growth and Development Lecture,” a.k.a. let’s talk about puberty. I literally can’t even go into it. It was that traumatizing. So instead I’ll focus on the lasagna I made for dinner.

The meeting was scheduled for 6 pm, which meant that I had to have dinner in the oven before I left. There are a few steps to actually baking the lasagna, so I decided to make a handy flow chart for my husband so he would know what to do while I was at the meeting:

flow chart

I even had him look it over while I was still at home to ensure that he knew exactly what he was doing.

So I’m sitting in this meeting learning about the appropriate time to start wearing a jock strap when I get the following text: “Made an executive decision to remove the foil at 6:35.”

I ignore it. I have made a flow chart so that HE DOES NOT HAVE TO MAKE EXECUTIVE DECISIONS.

A few minutes later I receive the text “Disaster, still not bubbling” along with a video of the lasagna actually cooking in the oven. I’m assuming he did this to prove to me that there was, in fact, no bubbling going on.

Honestly, I did not need this. I had a lot on my plate at that moment and it involved being prepared to answer questions like, “Help, I think I’m growing breasts even though I’m a boy. Is that normal?” and God help me I HAVE NO FREAKING CLUE what the answer to questions like that are.

Anyway, I got home to find that the lasagna was fine. My husband had the audacity to ask me how it tasted like HE was the one who made it when all he did was take it out of the oven. It was a very rough two hours.




  1. Wendy Willis

    May 5th, 2015 at 11:18 am

    Hilarious! Loved laughing so early in the morning.

  2. Meredith

    May 5th, 2015 at 12:06 pm


  3. Alex

    May 5th, 2015 at 5:35 pm

    The flow chart failed me! Here is the chain of events:

    1. 545PM – timer goes off, I calmly check the lasagna. No bubbling. That’s cool, I know what to do. Just follow the flow chart.
    2. 550PM – still no bubbles. No problem.
    3. 555PM – Is that a bubble? No, just reflection from the aluminum foil.
    4. 6PM – no bubbles. what is going on?
    5. 605PM – playing Super Mario Brothers 3 with the kids. That game has still got it!
    6. 610PM – Shoot, I hope I didn’t miss the bubbles! Nope, still no bubbles.
    7. 615PM – what is going on!?!
    8. 620PM – no bubbles… panic sets in.
    9. 625 PM – I know, I will text Meredith a video of the lasagna cooking. She will tell me what to do!
    10. 630 PM – what is she not responding? There are no bubbles for G-d sakes!
    11. 635PM – executive decision. Remove aluminum foil.
    12. 640PM –

  4. Alex

    May 5th, 2015 at 5:38 pm

    Sorry, hit the submit button by accident.

    640 PM – playing Super Mario brothers 3. I found a warp whistle!
    645 PM – time to remove the lasagna from the oven.
    650PM – setting the table.
    655PM – cutting the cheese (on the lasagna)
    700PM – enjoying my delicious dinner.
    715 PM – kids agree I nailed the lasagna recipe!

  5. Trying to get into top form @ Meredith Towbin

    January 25th, 2017 at 7:02 am

    […] I know how to write in detail about having to endure my kid’s sex ed talk at school, but for the life of me I cannot wrap my head around this author platform stuff. I think I read […]

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