Rage against the machine

It’s all about road rage today. I have many, many stories about road rage. Let’s just say I used to have a bit of a problem. I’ve since reformed, but the following was the worst of the worst:

I was bringing my kid home from a birthday party one afternoon. For reasons I can’t recall, we were driving through a strip mall parking lot. Suddenly, the pick-up truck in front of me stops right in front of Target, smack in the middle of the road. There’s no signal, no emergency lights blinking, nothing. He just stops and does nothing.

After five minutes (or maybe 30 seconds, but you can’t prove anything), his lady friend comes out of the passenger side and moseys her way into Target. Taking her sweet old time.

Let’s just say I did not react well. I was mad. More than mad. I was irate. No, I was flipping irate! Excuse my language.

I may have tooted my horn. Just a little. Ok, maybe it was kind of long. But no matter. The gall! The audacity!

But then something unexpected happened. The guy gets out of his pick-up truck. He sprints towards my minivan. All the while screaming.

I swerved around him and started to drive away, as any normal person would react when a lunatic is running at them.

But the guy—get this—slams both hands against the window of my van as I drive by him! Right where my kid was sitting!

Now I REALLY wanted to slam on my brakes, get out of the car and do something serious to this guy. No matter that he literally weighs twice as much as me and would have beaten me to a pulp. He threatened my kid! At that moment I felt like I had the strength of twenty Dwyane Johnsons.

Luckily, I didn’t go totally crazy and had the good sense to drive away. I put my guns (as in my biceps) back in their holsters/my cardigan.

To this day I believe that guy was lucky. You don’t piss off a mother by threatening her kids. You’d best be wise to that, crazy man.

So now it’s your turn—what’s your worst road rage moment?

  1. Alex

    November 15th, 2012 at 5:52 am

    My wife has the Worst road rage. one time, She blared the horn at some guy as he was letting out this little old lady from his car. She made that man so mad that he literally jumped out of the car to want to beat her up. My crazy wife Slammed her foot on the gas and swerved out-of-the-way. She was yelling and shaking her fist (and maybe some other fingers) at the man in front of my appalled child.

  2. Meredith

    November 15th, 2012 at 10:17 am

    I wanted to keep you out of this but you have forced my hand. I don’t know why you felt the need to try to attack me just because I innocently beeped the horn at you as your lady friend exited your vehicle. That’s what you get for running around on me.

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