Things my kid has said to me in the past month:
1. Can you turn on the heat? Oh, wait, never mind. I’m here.
2. Boooooooooooooooo. (After I turned down “Uptown Funk,” which was BOOMING out of the speaker he set up for him and his friends in the backyard. HE BOOED ME.)
3. Kid: I’m going to play the tuba.
Me: Why the tuba?
Kid: Because it’s hilarious.
(I’m not really sure that’s the best reason to choose an instrument.)
4. I’m going to make a dinosaur. Don’t worry, I’m starting small so it won’t be a threat to human civilization.
5. Kid: (explaining a complex water filtration system).
Me: What does that have to do with making a dinosaur?
Kid: They need to drink. Duh.
6. We’re going to need to invent a pretty big tranquilizer gun (regarding Operation Dino).
7. Mom, you don’t need to check my math homework. You probably won’t get it. (Apparently fourth grade math is killer.)
8. That’s pretty heavy duty…(dramatic pause)…(hysterical laughter over the fact that he just said duty).