Liar, liar, pants on fire

I’ll only take this baby out when I’m Krogering.

My kid came home from school the other day and told me this:

“A boy told me he ate a bicycle.”

To which I responded:

“What?!? A bicycle? That’s impossible.”

To which my kid replied:

“No, really! It’s true! It’s really, really, REALLY true!!”

I started to wonder: (a) If this kid was going to lie about something, why make up something so insanely ridiculous? Which led me to: (b) This kid is hardcore and I like it. I mean, if you’re going to lie, go big or go home.

Which then got me to wonder: Say I could make up any crazy lie and pretend that it was true to anyone who would listen. I mean, I’d have to really go for it, INSIST that it was the truth no matter what. What would I make up?

A number of options:

1. I played Kimmy Gibbler on Full House.

2. I squat 850 lbs. But that’s only on my easy days.

3. My book is being made into a movie. The lead role will be played by Gobo Fraggle (of Fraggle Rock fame. Duh). I like his range.

4. My other car is a Bugatti. I just like to slum it with my minivan.

5. I’m installing a moat around my house.

6. I’m constructing an Iron Man suit in my basement. If anyone has some extra palladium lying around, I call dibs.

7. My cat is actually a Hobbit. That’s why I tell anyone who comes over that she’s “hiding” and won’t come out.

So if you could make up anything about yourself, what would it be?

Image from DerickG.

  1. Amy

    December 16th, 2012 at 10:44 pm

    Ummm…I actually DO have some palladium in my lab, but I’d need to reduce it and purify it to get it to be pure enough for you. With a 2-year-old keeping me busy, I might be able to get it to you in, say, 16 years or so. How’s that work for you?!

  2. Meredith

    December 17th, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    I just KNEW that my chemistry friend would come in handy one day. You the best.

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