In treatment

Remember this horror of all horrors?

I had my “when I was your age I walked uphill to school…both ways” moment with my kids the other day.

We were driving home from the dentist’s office and they’d just had a cleaning. One kid was complaining about how the flouride aftertaste was so awful. If you’re not familiar with how they give kids flouride these days, the hygenist simply brushes this liquid on their teeth before they leave and then they go get a drink of water.

I felt the need to tell them how I would get the “flouride treatment” in the old days. You might remember that there were these trays — one for your top teeth, one for your bottom — and the hygenist squeezed this gooey gloppy gel/paste concoction into each tray. There weren’t 30 different flavor choices like the kids these days have for their cleaning. There was one. I think it was mint. But more accurately described as vomit flavor.

So, I explained to them, they filled these trays with this awful stuff, shoved it into the top and bottom of your mouth and made you bite down. The gooey grossness would ooze out and you’d have to sit there for like 10 minutes. The taste was horrible. You’d be drooling everywhere. Eyes watering. Counting down the minutes until the torture was over.

AND, I told them, my brother had such an aversion to the “flouride treatment” that one time he actually THREW UP from it. All over the dentist. Who, as I recall, snarled, “Get this crap off of me” right in front of my brother who was like 5.

Ahh, kids these days. They don’t know how good they got it.


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