Cattitude

I’ve created a monster. It’s not really my fault though, and I fully blame my cat’s veterinarian.

You see, our cat is 16, and in human years, that means she’s like 314 years old. And when you’re 314 years old, you don’t have time for bullshit. At this point in her life, she is very vocal about what she wants (and what she doesn’t want).

At her last vet appointment, I learned she had lost some weight, and the vet told me to start feeding her wet food twice a day instead of once. Cleo the cat LIVES for Fancy Feast. It is the highlight of her entire life. She knows that around dinner time she gets some, and starts meowing and hounding me for it starting at 3:45 pm every afternoon.

So a few weeks ago, at the vet’s recommendation, I started feeding her Fancy Feast in the morning. At first I imagine she was pleasantly surprised to get it so early in the day. But after about a week, she realized it was coming and, again, she didn’t have time for bullshit. As soon as she saw the sun was rising, she wanted her Fancy Feast. Immediately.

My life now is waking up to the sound of incessant meowing starting at about 5:30 am. I tell her to shut up and go back to sleep. She lets me settle back in for about 20 minutes or so, then starts meowing again until I tell her to shut up. This goes on until I have to get up for the day.

Once I get up, she freaks the heck out. I can’t even brush my teeth in peace. She meows and meows and meows until I go downstairs and put out her food.

I live in a prison. This is my life now. I don’t know what to do. She needs to eat in the morning, and I can’t NOT feed her, so I’m basically reinforcing her behavior. She’s set quite a little trap for me. I haven’t had to deal with these kinds of demands from another living being since I had newborns. I don’t know if it’s because I’m older now or I just have a lower tolerance level, but I don’t remember ever telling my babies to shut the f up when they were crying.

Somebody help me. (But please don’t say anything bad about my cat because I love her so much it hurts and I would die a thousand deaths for her.)

  1. Lissa Johnston

    July 31st, 2019 at 6:36 pm

    I want to leave a comment but I’m just

  2. Natasha

    July 31st, 2019 at 11:55 pm

    This was my YORKIE!! The second I rolled over he was barking or jumping on my bed. Again around 3 he turned super loving, while the rest of the day he didn’t seem to notice me!! How is it some pets are so food driven?!? “This is my life now.” Hilarious.

  3. Meredith

    August 1st, 2019 at 10:07 am

    I guess it’s not just cats! This morning she started meowing at 4 am. It’s 10 am now and I haven’t seen her for hours. Grrr.

  4. Virginie

    August 6th, 2019 at 5:38 pm

    I enjoyed reading your article 😉 I have a 2 years old and one year old cat and they are already so spoiled. If I don’t give them their special candies on the evening or I am a bit late, I am getting a meow concert.

  5. Meredith

    August 6th, 2019 at 8:04 pm

    Special candies! Ha! I love it

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